 A client of mine was fussing over making what seemed from the outside to be a very simple decision. He is a very intelligent man, he's well respected, his clients pay him handsomely for his advice and yet here he was faltering over a single choice. As I reminded him of this he smiled and said he didn't want to make the wrong choice since the item he was purchasing would be with him for a long time. I assured him that he could always purchase something else if this didn't turn out to be what he wanted but that either way he had to make his own choice.
The heart of the issue wasn't what he was purchasing as much as the fact that he was able to make the purchase. As we grow and become more successful we end up having more and more choices available to us and with that freedom can sometimes come a weighted sense of responsibility. Like someone who's gone out drinking (for the 1st time) on their 21st birthday we can feel overwhelmed. Worried that we get it "right" we sample everything in site, get caught up in the rush and decide we have to have it all right now and then wake up in the morning with a horrible hangover. The trick is to realize that as long as you are breathing - anything is possible. Most, if not all, of our decisions can be changed if needed. So, it is up to us to make the best decision for us, for where we are at the time, with the information we have before us. Since there are endless possibilities for how life will look five years from now, let alone five minutes from now, sometimes it is best to just close your eyes, go with our gut and leap before we look.
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 There are many people who are out of work today, in some areas the unemployment rate is at an all time high, but I believe this could be the best thing that ever happened to some of these people.
Now, I'm not saying it is enjoyable to lose one's job but sometimes when we don't choose to leave a position we are not suited for the universe chooses for us. The thing that separates people is how they react to the situation. Are they smart enough to see it as an opportunity to do what they've always wanted or have they fallen prey to fear and gone back to what they've always known. I would encourage that person to check in with their inner compass before making their next step. It could mean the difference between finding a career that satisfies their emotional and intellectual needs or climbing back into another job that gives them no personal satisfaction. Just like trusting whether we like certain foods, or movies, or music - there is a compass within that knows what we kind of work we are meant to perform. The good news is, until we choose to honor that internal compass, life will continue to give us new opportunities to make the right choice.  That's the question most five year olds are asked about growing up. What do you want to be? I think that question has more to do with us than them. Maybe a better question is who are you now? Maybe we ask to recapture our own sense of wonder and dreaming; recalling our own desires to be a ballerina, a firefighter, a super-hero, or a librarian.
I wonder what the answer would be if we asked who they are rather than who they want to be. Better yet, why don't we ask that question of ourselves - we may be surprised at the answer - especially if we are NOT the librarian or the firefighter but instead we are the electrician or the retail sales clerk. Careers rarely suggested to five year olds but often achieved by their adult counterparts. So, maybe you like being an electrician or maybe not. The real question is WHAT do YOU want to be now?  In talking with a client about overcoming anger I was reminded of a story I heard many years ago. I'm not sure who wrote the original story but the gist of it is this;
A couple of men were out camping in the forest, they went off into the woods and left a kettle full of food over the fire. The kettle was boiling away and a bear became curious with the noise and smell of food. When the bear reached for the kettle he was burned but instead of running away he grabbed the kettle and was burned even more. The more the bear was burned the tighter he hugged the kettle until unfortunately he expired. I often remind myself, and my clients, that when we hold on to the thing that makes us angry we only hurt ourselves. To help move quickly through moments of anger I'll simply repeat the following statement; Bear Hugs Kettle. It's a quick way to regain my own composure and often times when shared with a friend, colleague or client can bring a knowing smile to their face. I encourage you to give it a try the next time something gets under your skin and threatens to get your hackles up. Just remember the tighter you hold on the more YOU will be burned. It's easy to let the troubles of yesterday cloud our judgment of today's events. The would haves or could haves of your past may give you pause when you attempt something new or decide to follow your heart and return to something you once wanted. It takes a real belief in yourself, in the power of an inspired thought - some might say it even takes a bit of blind faith - to brush aside the lingering doubts and see the horizon clearly. The good news it that when we do we are able to move forward confidently and that first step of confidence may be all we need gain momentum and ultimately reach our goals. Even the smallest grain of faith can be sufficient. Perhaps that is because grains are seeds and even a small seed can become a huge tree and bare fruit for years after it has been planted. There is a real, honest power, in that kind of faith a kind of power that can sustain one through the buffeting of doubts, if we let it. The question is, will you choose to focus on the Faith or the Fear?  How do you eat an elephant? As the saying goes… one bite at a time. Often when we are facing a big issue or project it can seem overwhelming. The trick then is to break it down into little pieces and take a bite (or an action) at a time. To be victorious one must face the challenge - but even the greatest leader knows that a clear plan of attack will help to ensure victory. One step, even the smallest step, creates a universal shift. Take a deep breath, start where you are, with what you have and begin. A successful ending will come - one bite at a time!   Today my horoscope stated that " You can basically have anything you want right now -- Sounds vaguely like that old warning about being careful what you wish for -- because you might get it? Well, it should. That's exactly the line you're walking. Tread gently, and look both ways before you cross". I had to laugh out loud because I'm often counseling my clients to do the same. When you've spent a significant amount of time pushing your own desires aside and someone gives you a tool to have all those desires realized it's easy to feel like a kid in a candy shop. The only trick is, just like that kid, if you take on too much at once you too may end up with one wicked belly ache.
That is why it is important to have a trusted and experienced life coach to guide you. They can help keep the hurricane of change at bay by helping you focus your energy on one key factor at a time. The beauty is when done correctly it becomes an organic relationship of mutual admiration and respect for the awesome power of change. How do you know when you are doing it right? Well, you will feel like you are carried on a warm summer wind to a specific destination - not catapulted across the sky by a violent storm into the abyss. Wherever your quest for change takes you remember... look both ways and enjoy the ride!  A primary tool in the 90-Day Power Plan (TM) is actively giving thanks where thanks are due. It is a philosophy and tactic promoted by theologians, business moguls, and our very own parents. While most of us agree it is polite to show appreciation for kind actions by extending a "thank you" it is another step entirely to wake up and live in a daily spirit of thankfulness. However, the awesome power of cultivating a mind steeped in thankfulness for all the things that go right for us can truly change our lives.
In his classic book, Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill writes that, "Your subconscious mind works continuously, while you are awake and while you are asleep." If this is true, which I have seen it demonstrated as such, then why not fill your mind with positive thoughts by focusing on the things you are thankful for having in your life. When you do you may find more and more things being drawn into your life for which you can be thankful. Not sure you can be thankful EVERYDAY? Well, if it seems like a tall order then I suggest you read the Street Roots story about George Mays, a remarkable man who's working as a vendor for the local periodical, while living on and off the streets in Portland, OR. In the June 19th editions Vendor's Profile George is quoted as saying, “Stay positive,” ...“Keep believing in what you do.” The writer notes that even during a night sleeping on the concrete George continued to remind himself to "stay positive". After reading his story I challenge you to remember what you are thankful for today and everyday.  I was having a fascinating conversation with my husband and his mother about childhood memories. The conversation started as a bit of a debate as to whether or not it was possible that a memory he had from childhood was real or if he had remembered the incident from a story the family had shared with him at a later time. Throughout the discussion it became clear that not only did he remember the incident but that his memory was independent of her own account and that the impact of the memory had a profound impact on his personal beliefs about dogs. All this left me pondering the power of our memories and their effect on our beliefs.
My work and training as a hypnotherapist has allowed me to see the negative effect memories can have on a persons life. One of the basic premises in hypnotherapy is that our minds retain a memory of every experience we've ever had - good or bad. For me the interesting thing is which memories we consciously choose to recall and how that recollection can become a personal belief. For example, if a person is bitten by a dog early on in their life they may form the opinion that ALL dogs will bite. This could lead them to go beyond a healthy fear of aggressive dogs to a phobia of any dog. It seems to me that how we feel about the memory determines how we feel about the subject of the memory. Once we make a judgment of whether the memory is good or bad then we color the subject in the same light and subsequently develop association with future experiences to support that judgment until it becomes a belief. The beauty of Hypnosis and NLP is that they can allow us to view the original incident from an objective point of view and choose to see it as neutral. This work then can create a new association with the subject and help the individual overcome a phobia or even change a belief.  When we begin to see the truth of who we are, outside the parameters, beliefs, and constraints of other peoples opinions, then we are free to live authentically. We can take ourselves seriously or keep things light on a whim. Once our mind is our own we can wield it's tremendous power to transform our lives from one moment to the next. The key is to let go, to release any idea of the should have's or would have's of life that were imposed on us from the outside and instead do what feels right and genuine and good from within.
Some call it the still small voice, others the soul, the inner guide, the Christ mind. It doesn't matter what name we use most of us know it when we hear it... or better yet feel it. That little tug to turn right instead of left, a nagging feeling that we forgot something or should call someone out of the blue. I call it our divine center - our true north. Like a compass it will always point you home. The eternal Home - a place where you are at peace, in perfect alignment with your natural sense of well being and purpose, a place where everything just feels right. Home gives us the power we need to continue growing, the safety to follow our inspirations, the burning desire to share our own gifts with the world. If all of us spent more time connected to our Home within then perhaps we would not feel like lost children - scared, angry, frightened and alone. Maybe then there would be less need to find fault or trample over others in an unconscious desire to gain a sense of power and mistaken safety. Finding Home comes from finding our true selves. Doing this requires us to be self-aware, to know what it is that we believe. It requires us to listen to our own divine center - to say yes, when we mean it and no when we mean it - without regret or disdain. As we begin to live from this true north we can heal ourselves and become whole again. Day by day, we can return Home. |
"It was so great to talk with Lia. She asked many thought provoking questions and gave me many great ideas! Highly recommend and look forward to continuing our discussions!" tHE ORACLEDivine guidance and wisdom from the eternal sage. She speaks, I listen and then I type. The views and opinions shared here are intended as inspiration and are provided without edit or intervention. By choosing to read and engage with this site you agree that you understand that the information given is not a replacement for professional guidance or treatment. Ask The Oracle a question on our contact page and watch this page for an answer. Archives
March 2019
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